“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” -Rumi
I have training in the Developmental Model of couples therapy, and IFIO-Internal Family Systems for relationships (Intimacy from the Inside Out) . I blend these models together to help people find better ways of relating and connecting.
I see the aim of relationship therapy as helping people create a healthy sense of differentiation and secure attachment.
Differentiation refers to “…the active ongoing process of a person being able to define their thoughts, their feelings, their wishes and their desires to one another and to be able to tolerate the partner doing the same thing.” Ellyn Bader
Secure attachment refers to a feeling of safety, trust and connection in the relationship. To feel secure in a relationship, we also need to develop a secure attachment internally with the various parts of ourselves. When a relationship is secure you are able to balance closeness with independence.
If you don’t feel secure attachment toward your partner, or were raised not feeling safe in relation to others, I am here to tell you that you can create a sense of safety again. Both internally and externally. Relationships provide the unique opportunity to grow and to heal.
I integrate my knowledge of Attachment Theory with the Developmental model, and IFS parts work, to help each member of the couple or group understand their underlying attachment needs and feelings, so that they can communicate more effectively.
